i'm a political science major. i'm taking a class called "democracy and citizenship," it's the capstone for my field of study. i believe that participation in government - essentially, democracy - is a fundamental human right.

and i won't be voting in november.

i called my board of canvassers today. i asked about obtaining an absentee ballot. the deadline to apply for mail-in ballots passed on tuesday, but would i be in town before the election? the woman asked me. i wouldn't, i'm an out-of-state student and won't be home before november 7th. she was sorry, she told me, there was nothing she could do for me. the state won't even look at applications received now, and it's illegal for someone to go in to get my ballot for me.

i thanked her and hung up the phone. maybe i'm a nerd, maybe my priorities are misplaced, but my eyes welled up.

i'll admit that i don't know much about the races in my state. the geographical distance between my representatives and i is gratuitous, and the issues they're voting on affect me little here in nebraska. hell, my roommate, a nebraska native but one who had an internship in a senator's d.c. office this summer, knows more about sheldon whitehouse and lincoln chafee than i do. he even knows how close the race is. and i'm not even planning to live in rhode island very long after graduation (boston's calling). this was my last chance to vote in a rhode island election for quite a while.

i've let my life get ahead of me. i've floundered in the work that i need to be doing and forgotten about important, non-academic priorities. i haven't spoken with my sister, who is due in less than two months now, in weeks. i haven't told my parents about anything that's going on in my life (which is a lot).

and now i've shirked my right - and my responsibility - as a person who demands voice in his government.

maybe i'm playing this up too much. it's just a midterm election right? a turnout election? really, what's the difference between whitehouse and chafee, anyway? they're both going to be a moderate-liberal senator, i'd imagine, and both have deep political histories in my home state. so what's one more vote anyway?

one more vote is my own sense of legitimacy and participation. how can i honestly advocate for a principle when i don't even make time to ensure that i can put it into practice?

i hope america, and anyone who believes in democratic governance, accepts my apologies. i won't be voting this year.